Forever
by whit love
Summary: One-shoot about Santana finding out about Bram and dealing with it.


"What about you, Santana? How are you dealing with this whole Brittany thing?" Santana lift her eyes from her hands and look straight into Rachel's eyes. _She has got to be fucking kidding me_. _Who's she to ask me anything about me or Brittany? Who the hell is she? _She thought. Looking to her side, Quinn was staring at her with the same questioning look in her face. And those inquisition looks on both faces made Santana lose it.

"Brittany thing?" She screamed. She could feel the hanger growing inside her veins and taking over her whole body. The shivers begin in her toes but soon spread to everywhere and Santana found herself shutting her fists as tight as she could. "How many times do you need to hear me say it? How many fucking times do I have to tell you that we broke up?! That I…" She gets up, feeling like she can no longer stay sit on that couch. "I… Santana Lopez, broke the best thing that's ever been mine and frankly the only thing that was good in my stupid life? How many times do you need to take that away from me mouth? How fucking many?"

Quinn looks down to her own hands and swallows louder than she wanted too while Rachel looks away to the window. Santana frowns her brow and looks from one to the other and for the first one again. They're hiding something and Santana knows it. There's no way they would look this guilty just by asking that question, which they already knew the answer.

"Who will speak first before I start throwing some Lima Heights love on your precious faces?" Santana says, clenching her teeth and her fists, ready to throw some punches if she needs. No one messes with her Brittany. _My Brittany, _she thought, feeling a small tear starting to form in the corner of her eye. Brittany was no longer her Brittany and she was the only one to blame.

"You haven't heard yet?" Rachel started, swallowing hardly and trying to look over to Quinn for approval to keep talking but Santana was blocking the view. She saw Rachel taking a deep breath and rose from the couch, hugging her without previous warning. She was trapped on Rachel's arms and she tried the best she could to get away but the trap was too strong. "She's with Sam now…"

Santana felt the strong trap of Rachel's arms disappear around her, the floor was also gone and the sounds, nothing. She tried to speak but her voice got trapped on the back of her throat. She tried to move but her body didn't answer the command and soon she felt her own brain going numb. Like if she was in the auditorium and the lights went all out. Everything was gone. No Rachel, no Quinn, no New York, no heartbeat. Nothing. It had all been ripped of her in a split second and she did nothing to stop it. She couldn't even if she tried.

"Santana!" Santana felt Quinn's hand across her left cheek and she felt the hotness of her cheek after it. But it didn't hurt, it didn't burn, everything was numb. She blinked twice and saw she was sitting in the floor, knees pressed against her chest and her face slightly up. Did Quinn just slapped her? What was happening?

"I… What happened?" She tried to get up but her legs gave up and she end up sit again. "Everything went black and the last thing I remember is…" Her heart stopped again when she realized what Rachel had told her. "You're lying Rachel, you're so lying to me. She can't be with him, she can't…"

"You set her free, Santana…" Quinn said but regret it right after when she looked down to her friend. "I didn't meant it. I'm so sorry."

"No, you're not, Quinn. You're not sorry. And you're lying Rachel. You're lying to me right in my fucking face and for some reason I'm actually believing in you." Santana got up from the floor and start walking backwards to the door, grabbing her purse from the table. That was when she realized she was crying and sobbing like a little baby. "You're both lying so hard to me!" She said, clenched teeth.

"Santana, please. Put your purse down and sit here." Quinn started walking in Santana's direction but the brunette shacked her hand to send Quinn back to her previous spot.

"Please don't do anything stupid Santana." Rachel tried with her eyes closed like she was trying to disappear.

"More than what I already did? No luck. Thank you for telling me, much appreciated, really." Santana stated and left the house running.

She reached her car in no time and turned it on as fast as she could, taking a last look to the building door where Quinn and Rachel already were, looking at her but she couldn't care less. Santana hit the accelerator pedal with both feet and heard the tires scream. This would leave a huge mark on the road but again, she couldn't care less. She drove all the way to Lima from New York, stopping only one time to put gas on her car. Every once in a while she would scream "I HATE YOU" or "WHY DID YOU LET HER GO? STUPID STUPID STUPID!" and hit the steering wheel over and over again. She would find Sam and would beat him to death. Yea, that sounded like a terrific plan.

* * *

Santana did found Sam and she did beat him, but not with physical pain. She beat him in the best way she knew she would. In a song. She spent her whole way down to Lima Santana thinking about all the miserable things she could do to Sam, all the pain she could inflict in his body, how she could hit those damn froggy lips until they fell off but something held her back. Something way too important for her to screw up: Brittany. At the end of it, Brittany was with Sam now and if he made her happy, Santana was… good with it. She just wanted Brittany's happiness, nothing less, nothing more.

"_But you're just a boy.._

She sang and shrugged, cleaning a few tears from her face and looking straight into Sam's eyes, finishing the song.

_You don't understand_

_How it feels to love a girl."_

Santana got up from her chair and was about to leave the choir room when she felt Sam grabbing her arm and stopping her. She felt the hanger taking over her body again but she shut her eyes closed and turned around one more time. "Just, make sure she's happy, okay?"

Santana took her arm away from Sam's hands and turned to the door, walking towards it with her eyes stuck on the floor but they got stuck in some white sneakers she knew so well. Her eyes started to rise from the floor and meet blue, not Sam's kind of blue but… Brittany's kind of blue. Brittany was standing right there in front of her, by the door. How long had she been there? Did she heard anything Santana sang to Sam? Santana just shacked her thoughts away and cupped Brittany's cheeks in her hands. She was too cold for the usual Brittany. Santana rose to the tip of her toes and placed a kiss on Brittany's forehead. "Be happy."

Santana didn't even look back or second thought what she just did, leaving the choir room right away.

Sam took a step forward to hug Brittany but the blonde raised her hand for him to stop right there. "Just don't Sam. I love Santana more than I ever loved or will ever love you. I'm sorry." Brittany was about to start running for Santana but the brunette wasn't walking that fast.

Santana wanted to walk faster and just leave that damn place as fast as she could but she found herself dragging her feet.

"Santana!" She heard Brittany call behind her and for a second she stopped but kept walking right after. "Please wait." She called again but Santana didn't look. Santana felt a hand held her arm and it wasn't Sam's. Brittany again. "Look at me."

"Why Brittany?" Santana mumbled between sobs, not looking back. She saw Brittany moving in the corner of her eye and felt a velvet touch in her chin, making her look up. Blue eyes and perfect smile were looking at her. Right there. All she ever loved was standing right there in front of her but out of her reach.

"Because I love you." Brittany said, full of confidence in her words. "And I don't want to be with Sam. I never loved him like I love you. In fact, I don't think I'll ever be able to love someone like I love you, Santana."

Santana felt her heart skip a beat at every word that came from Brittany's mouth and she wanted to hang in each one of them, she really wanted but she couldn't. Brittany was happy with Sam and no matter what she would say to her didn't change that fact. She shacked her thoughts away. "Just don't Britt. Stay with Sam, it's for the best." It took every piece of strength in her body to say this. She was about to step away when Brittany moved to block her way.

"No Santana, you don't get to say that. Not to me."

"Oh, and why is that?"

"Because you fight so hard for us to be together and you'll give up on all that."

Santana opened her mouth to answer but no words left to reply. It was true, Brittany was right. Why give up after so much fight and misery? "No Brittany, you don't understand."

"No, I do Santana. I do understand that you thought us breaking up was the best thing to do…"

"And it was. It still is. Brittany, I love you, and I will never be able to love anyone else like I loved you but… You're better with Sam."

"No, I'm not! I want you!"

"Britt… You're better with him."

"Why? Give me just one good reason. Go on."

Santana looked at Brittany and saw the tears forming in her deep blue eyes. Her heart stopped. She couldn't bring herself to hurt Brittany again, she just couldn't. She saw Brittany cross her arms over her chest and look at her, waiting for the answer. Santana looked behind her and Sam was standing by the choir room door.

"Because… Because he's a guy. Your life would be so much easier with him, Brittany."

"What? Santana, is this just because of what other people would say or do about us being two girls? Because I don't really care about them." Santana couldn't hear any more and tried to move away again but Brittany placed her hands on Santana's shoulders, making her stop, and kept talking. "I don't care. I don't want the Sam guy. I want the Santana girl. I want you."

"Try to understand Brittany, please… You'll be better with him. I love you but... Goodbye…" She said and left, leaving Brittany by the lockers and Sam by the choir room door. She couldn't keep talking with Brittany and listening to what she was saying or else she knew the end, she knew she would give up on everything and just kiss Brittany till _eternity_.

* * *

"Just shut the fuck up and kiss me, for fuck sake!" Santana screamed to the girl in front of her. The club music was so loud she couldn't even listen to herself.

She had had plenty of drinks before. In fact, she had so many kinds of alcohol inside her that it could become some sort of new cocktail. Pretty much every alcoholic drink was inside Santana's body and blood.

The random girl just smiled and kissed Santana hard, making the brunette lose her support for a second. Santana held her tight and pressed her lips harder against the rude ones from the other girl. It wasn't Brittany's softness, it was rude, and dry, and tasted like cigarettes when it should taste like cotton candy or Lucky Charms. But she didn't give two shits about Brittany and dragged this girl into the bathroom, madly kissing her. The girl wasn't complaining, in fact she seemed to be enjoying it really much. Santana made her sit in the sink and start dragging her skirt up and up until she touched the other girls underwear, making her moan against Santana's lips. _Underwear, Brittany always forgets her underwear. _

"Fuck." Santana said and stepped away from the girl, leaning against one of the toilet cubicle doors. "Fuck, just fuck this."

"Someone is hornier than I thought." The girl said and smirked, jumping away from the sink and moving towards Santana. But the brunette moved away before the girl reached her. "Oh… Don't be shy, come on." She teased one more time and Santana just moved away to the sink, opening the water.

"Go away." She said before throwing water to her face. _Wake up Santana, what the hell are you doing?_

"What?" The other girl said behind her and Santana looked at her through the mirror.

"You fucking heard me, go away!"

"Oh, there's another, uhm?" The girl crossed her eyes above her chest and raised her eyebrow.

"No. You are the other. She is my person. The only person I should be kissing or fucking or doing whatever I please with." Santana closed the water and turned around to face the girl. "And now please leave before I hit you or something."

The girl didn't said a word and walked towards Santana again, grabbing her wrists. Santana tried to get away but the girl was strong. She turned Santana around and wrapped her arms around Santana's stomach, squeezing it.

"What… The fuck… Are you doing?" Santana mumbled between squeezes. She felt her stomach ache and all the drinks she had inside of her burning their way up to her mouth.

"Sobering you up before sending you to your person." She squeezed Santana one more time before letting her run to one of the toilets.

"I'm going to…"

"Throw up." The girl finished Santana's sentence while the brunette was vomiting a very colorful mixed of liquids. "Damn girl, you were poisoned till the bones." She add while pushing Santana's hair behind.

"I had to... I had to take the thoughts away from my head." Santana saying before another round of colorful liquids leave her.

"She cheated on you?" The girl asked and Santana shacked her head from one side to the other. "You cheated?"

"Never. I would never cheat on her." Santana said before the last round attack her.

"Then I don't understand." The girl helped Santana getting up and sent her to the sink again, flushing the toilet. "What happened?"

"I thought setting her free was going to be the best choice but it wasn't…" Santana replied, cleaning her face and her mouth.

The girl grabbed her purse from the sink and handed Santana a gum. "Here."

"Thank you."

The girl smiled and moved behind Santana, making her a sloppy ponytail. Then moved to each sides of the brunette and after to the front, fixing her dress and jacket.

"What are you doing?" Santana asked.

"Helping you out. Come on now, I'll drive you there."

"I have a car."

"Me too but there's no way you'll drive like this. I drive you there and then call my brother to pick me up or something."

"Thank you, really."

"Sure, anytime."

* * *

"BRITTANY!" Santana screamed under the rain by Brittany's doorway. She felt temped to throw stones to her window but it was an awful idea. The girl had drove her there and left already so Santana was standing alone in the middle of the sidewalk, raining rivers and oceans, waiting for Brittany to come to the window and then it hit it her.

"_COME TO MY WINDOW  
CRAWL INSIDE, WAIT BY THE LIGHT  
OF THE MOON  
COME TO MY WINDOW  
I'LL BE HOME SOON"_

She sang from the top of her lungs and stopped, waiting to see if Brittany showed up and there her door opened. Brittany was standing in her front door, pajamas on and looking like she wasn't really sleeping.

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BRITTANY! I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING AN ASSHOLE, I LOVE YOU, AND I WILL SAY IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNTIL YOU FORGIVE ME! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE…" Santana didn't finished her sentence because Brittany had ran towards her and kissed her.

"Say it again." The blonde mumbled between kisses, her arms wrapped around Brittany's waist and Brittany's hands cupping her face.

"I love you so much." Santana said between sweet peeks on Brittany's soft lips.

"One more time."

"I love you so, so much Brittany." Santana stopped the kiss and pressed her forehead against Brittany's. "And I'm so sorry. I was at the bar and there was this girl and I kissed her and I felt so bad Brittany, but so bad. I felt sick to my stomach because she wasn't you. Those lips weren't yours. She just wasn't you. And I felt like I was cheating on you and I love you so much, Brittany." She stopped and looked to Brittany who was smiling from ear to ear. "Please say you're mine again."

"I never stopped being yours. I love you too Santana, so much. Never ever leave me again, you heard me?"

"Never. From now on its just you and me. Forever."

"I like the sound of that."

"Me too."


End file.
